We Can Dance If You Want To

I have a confession to make. I have a deep secret that needs revealing.

I want to be a ballerina. Well, I want to learn ballet.

Here's something that's not a secret: I don't particularly like working out. I think I need a workout with a purpose. I think maybe I just want an excuse to wear a tutu. Obviously, this is kind of ridiculous. But I've done more ridiculous things before, so I think I'm just going to go for it.

I took ballet for about 5 minutes in 1991. By 5 minutes, I mean just long enough to order all different kinds of shoes, but not long enough for them to arrive and be used. I had quit before the proper equipment came in. This short-lived time in ballet was a small break from gymnastics.  Gymnastics was fast-paced, challenging, loud, energetic, and, most of all, fun. Ballet was slow, steady, quiet, and, worst of all, boring. At least to my 8 year old mind it was. I can remember thinking, Why did I leave gymnastics for this? Don't worry, 8 year old me, you'll go back and you'll compete and you'll win. I quit ballet, tap, etc. before I had time to realize that it probably wasn't as boring as I initially thought. And anyway, I was still convinced I could be an Olympic gymnast at that time (it never hurts to dream, right?)

I had some great friends growing up who were dancers. I was secretly jealous of them. Dance was so beautiful, graceful, sensual, heartbreaking, passionate. It required discipline and control. Couldn't I have been a dancer, too?

Maybe I romanticize ballet because I didn't stick with it.

Maybe I need something to distract me.

Maybe it really is about the tutu.