Much Like the Honey Badger, Crazy Cat Lady Don't Give a Damn

To begin, I must admit that this post will make almost no sense whatsoever. Much like my train of thought.

This video cracks me up. I can't exactly watch it (it truly grosses me out at points), but listening to it gets me rolling every time. Speaking of things that crack me up, there's always this:

I spent all day yesterday destroying a 10 year old pair of capri pants. I'm not sure what's more disturbing: that it took me all day to destroy them (I get easily side-tracked) or that I still had pants from 10 years ago? And also, I have no idea what I think I'm trying to make out of them. I just know that they no longer need to be capri pants. Pictures to follow. Unless, of course, I just make a huge mess (which is the most likely outcome).

And now for something completely unrelated to the above.

Anyone who knows me knows that I live by this simple motto: The bigger the hair, the closer to God. And as such, am in great need of this shirt:

My birthday is in 18 days, so you can find this for me here.  I have been using Aqua Net like it is my job lately.  And this causes some serious tangles. My mission is to figure out how to use my beloved Aqua Net without getting a crazy bird nest on the back of my head by the end of the day. I feel certain Google will be able to help me out. If not, I'll just channel Truvy. Surely, she will have some insight.

When I started this post yesterday (and by "start," I mean, posted the Honey Badger video), I had a lot of things to write about. Did I write any of them down for reference later? Um, no. Wait. The cat.

It's official. I am a crazy cat lady. And I am surprisingly okay with this. It occurred to me yesterday when I was taking a shower. Why the shower? Yeah, that's because Liza Jane sits on the edge of the tub, peeks around the shower curtain, and just watches me shower. So that, coupled with the fact that I am now blogging about it, makes me a crazy cat lady. I've decided to embrace it.  In that spirit, here's something that reminds me of my previous cat (who ran away shortly after B was born), Steven J. Stickers, Esq. (Yes, that was his full name, but those close to him called him simply Steve Stickers):

I think maybe I'll bring the rambling to a close now. Back to destroying old clothes, using Aqua Net, and talking to my cat.

Update: I was just sitting on my back porch and had a stroke of genuis. I think I'm going to have to call my blog The Pigloo. It seems such a waste to have that awesome picture and do nothing with it. Plus, this blog makes no sense and I think "The Pigloo" really captures that perfectly. 

My Bathroom, Myself

If the way you decorate your home is an expression of your personality, then surely the way you keep your home speaks volumes about you. After all, mama always said "actions speak louder than words" (one day, I will blog about the WWIII caliber fights this phrase caused the Nelson household back in the day). So, when I tell you that I'm an "organized mess" or that "it looks cluttered, but I know where everything is," you should accept it. Because if you were to see my bathroom right now, you would surely think I am a slob.  I swear I'm not. I clean the kitchen on the regular. I organize my books, papers, and other junk religiously. And then there's my bathroom. My deep, dark secret bathroom. It, I'm ashamed to admit, looks like this:

I do have an excuse, though (of course I do). This is it:

Her name is Liza Jane Minnelli Nelson. I know, Jane is not the actual Liza's middle name (it's May, in case you were wondering), but saying "Liza Jane" is just so much more fun, so Liza Jane Minnelli Nelson she is.

The above is obviously Liza May. I just love her and Cabaret, but that's another blog for another day. This is about the bathroom. Basically, it looks like the day after 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina had an awful, hugely devastating love child. It's just....eww. Allow me to attempt to keep you as a friend explain.  Liza is a kitten. Now, she is a very sweet kitten -- very cuddly, will fall asleep in your arms like a baby, purrs incessantly. But, she's a kitten. She wants to be all up in our business all the time. She scratches everything. For a brief moment, she had fleas. All of this adds up to a considerable amount of time in the bathroom for sweet little Liza Jane (see how much fun that was?). So, my bathroom has been destroyed. And sometimes trying to fix it just seems so....pointless. But today, I did pick up all the Q-Tips, the torn up toilet paper, the random pills (Liza opened a child proof pill bottle, I think she has magical powers). I put all the perfume bottles upright, picked up all the towels (which, after I hang up, Liza pulls down to use as a bed), and cleaned the floor.  See:

Maybe cleaning will happen tomorrow. I predict it will happen much later than that.

Tonight, I opted to have fun. See:

It's (the beginnings of) our "House Divided" wreath (type thing) that we're making for game day, which is, thankfully and finally, this Saturday! WAR DAMN EAGLE!

Also, there's this project.

I'm thinking of going back and making crossing on the diagonal with the black ribbon. I haven't really decided yet. I've had my jewelry on that board for months, but just now got around to painting it.

Well, I just blogged about my cat. I now predict that I will die alone.