Friday, October 14, 2011

(What) To Be or Not To Be? That is the Question.

I just logged onto Facebook and the first status I saw was that of Danielle, wondering what she should be for Halloween. Danielle, I find myself in a similar dilemma. It's going to be a budget Halloween, for sure. But I have a lot of crazy in my closet, so surely I can come up with something. For example, we have a variety of "hair hats" (thank you, Paige Evatt, for that delightful way to refer to wigs).

We have this hair hat:

Which doesn't help much because:  (1) I am blonde (again) and (2) I can get my hair just as big as the wig (on a related note, there is an amazing t-shirt idea in there somewhere). So, we'll move on to this one:

Last year, I was Cher. So I am now the proud owner of this wig. I feel sure it can be recycled, though.

Now, the piece de resistance:

The real dream is to find a use for this wig. I mean, this is the dream. But I am currently at a loss for ideas. So any suggestions are welcome.

While I was writing this blog, Brandi and I had this conversation. I found it oddly fitting.

Brandi: She is a crazy hippie.
Me: Dude, that sucks. I love a pseudo-hippie, but the full-out hippie? Go away.
Brandi: Yeah, she has a purple stone tied tightly on a choker, like a witch.
Me: Nice.
Brandi: A million earrings. A ring on every finger and hair to her butt that's in a ponytail.
Me: Oh, so me the day I finally lose my shit?
Brandi: Lol, no. You will never wear clogs.

So, maybe I should be a hippie? But probably not. I'm not even wearing clogs for the sake of a costume. They are that awful.

So, you can see I have a major problem on my hands.

I found this on Pintrest today. I find it hilarious, but other people seemed to be offended by it. I guess they thought there are people out there who are legitimately in favor of teaching kids to accept drugs from strangers. It's a joke, people. Kids should only accept drugs from people they know. This is why I am a good mom.

Much Like the Honey Badger, Crazy Cat Lady Don't Give a Damn

To begin, I must admit that this post will make almost no sense whatsoever. Much like my train of thought.

This video cracks me up. I can't exactly watch it (it truly grosses me out at points), but listening to it gets me rolling every time. Speaking of things that crack me up, there's always this:

I spent all day yesterday destroying a 10 year old pair of capri pants. I'm not sure what's more disturbing: that it took me all day to destroy them (I get easily side-tracked) or that I still had pants from 10 years ago? And also, I have no idea what I think I'm trying to make out of them. I just know that they no longer need to be capri pants. Pictures to follow. Unless, of course, I just make a huge mess (which is the most likely outcome).

And now for something completely unrelated to the above.

Anyone who knows me knows that I live by this simple motto: The bigger the hair, the closer to God. And as such, am in great need of this shirt:

My birthday is in 18 days, so you can find this for me here.  I have been using Aqua Net like it is my job lately.  And this causes some serious tangles. My mission is to figure out how to use my beloved Aqua Net without getting a crazy bird nest on the back of my head by the end of the day. I feel certain Google will be able to help me out. If not, I'll just channel Truvy. Surely, she will have some insight.

When I started this post yesterday (and by "start," I mean, posted the Honey Badger video), I had a lot of things to write about. Did I write any of them down for reference later? Um, no. Wait. The cat.

It's official. I am a crazy cat lady. And I am surprisingly okay with this. It occurred to me yesterday when I was taking a shower. Why the shower? Yeah, that's because Liza Jane sits on the edge of the tub, peeks around the shower curtain, and just watches me shower. So that, coupled with the fact that I am now blogging about it, makes me a crazy cat lady. I've decided to embrace it.  In that spirit, here's something that reminds me of my previous cat (who ran away shortly after B was born), Steven J. Stickers, Esq. (Yes, that was his full name, but those close to him called him simply Steve Stickers):

I think maybe I'll bring the rambling to a close now. Back to destroying old clothes, using Aqua Net, and talking to my cat.

Update: I was just sitting on my back porch and had a stroke of genuis. I think I'm going to have to call my blog The Pigloo. It seems such a waste to have that awesome picture and do nothing with it. Plus, this blog makes no sense and I think "The Pigloo" really captures that perfectly. 

Thursday, October 6, 2011

National Poetry Day

Today, October 6, is the first Thursday in October, or National Poetry Day. In honor of the day, here are some of my favorites:

The first time that the sun rose on thine oath
To love me, I looked forward to the moon
To slacken all those bonds which seemed too soon
And quickly tied to make a lasting troth.
Quick-loving hearts, I thought, may quickly loathe;
And, looking on myself, I seemed not one
For such man's love! - more like an out-of-tune
Worn viol, a good singer would be wroth
To spoil his song with, and which, snatched in haste,
Is laid down at the first ill-sounding note.
I did not wrong myself so, but I placed
A wrong on thee. For perfect strains may float
'Neath master-hands, from instruments defaced -
And great souls, at one stroke, may do and dote.
                  -Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Sonnet XXXII, 
                   from Sonnets for the Portuguese

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message: "He is Dead."
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now, put out everyone.
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
                        -W.H. Auden, Funeral Blues

When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also.

When your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you.

Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.

There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.

The dark will be your womb

The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.

You must learn one thing.
The world was made to be free in.

Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.

Sometimes it takes the darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn

anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive

is too small for you.
                  -David Whyte, Sweet Darkness, from House of Belonging

October is the perfect month for National Poetry Day. The back porch, a cup of coffee, a great poem, and gorgeous October weather go a long way to healing the soul.

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